Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
