Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
