its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
