watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
