im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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