He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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