I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
