Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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