my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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