I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
