I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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