If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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