i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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