If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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