3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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