ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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