I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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