Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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