did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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