This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
