I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
