I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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