I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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