come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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