so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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