Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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