hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Randomize
