why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize