how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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