I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
