WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
