driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Everyone says I win the strip club
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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