I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
