whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
