I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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