What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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