I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
