by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
