you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
