My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
too bad you live with your parents still
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
