Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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