cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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