I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
