bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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