I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
