He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
