im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
