We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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