Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
