goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
