How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
